Aging, Art, and Rebellion: My Life as a Life Model

on amazon.com/author/laurabernardeschinelson

The Pose That Hurt: How I Reclaimed My Body and Voice Through Life Modeling

When I first stepped into an art studio in London in my fifties, I wasn’t looking for transformation.

I was simply answering an ad for a life model. I was older than most models. My body had known years of movement, grief, motherhood, silence, and survival. But when I disrobed and stood in stillness—bare, uncertain, utterly exposed—something ancient stirred in me. Something fierce. Something free.

That first pose hurt.

Not just in the muscles. Not just in the spine. It hurt because it asked me to stay—in my body, in my skin, in my story—without performing or escaping. And for the first time in a long time, I did.

That’s how the seed for my book, The Pose That Hurt: Becoming an Artist Through Life Modeling and Rebellion, was planted.

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Life Modeling as Rebellion

Most people imagine life modeling as passive: holding still while others draw you. But there is nothing passive about being seen without hiding.

As I continued modeling — first in art schools, then in private sessions, outdoors in gardens, or in cold rooms filled with charcoal dust—I realised I wasn’t just a body being drawn. I was a life being witnessed.

Every pose unearthed memories. My body held decades of language that had never been spoken: childhood, exile, abuse, ageing, longing, and quiet joy. Each stillness became a kind of poetry. Each ache became a metaphor.

Life modelling became my rebellion against erasure—of age, of femininity, of vulnerability, of time.

Why Did I Write This Book?

I wrote The Pose That Hurt because I couldn’t find my story anywhere else.

The art world honours muses but rarely asks them to speak. Memoirs are often about reinvention, youth, and redemption. But what about becoming something beautiful through stillness, endurance, and creative witness?

This book is my answer. A collection of lyrical, fiercely honest essays drawn from my life as a model, artist, and woman reclaiming her voice.

In its pages, I explore:

• Aging without apology
• The boundaries we draw to protect ourselves as foreigners—and the ones we dare to cross
• The subtle revolution of being seen
• The healing that art offers when language falls short

A Creative Life After 50

I came to writing and visual art late. But something about beginning “late” has liberated me. It means I carry no illusions. It means my art doesn’t seek approval—it seeks truth.

And in the spaces where I was once silent, I now write. In the places I once shrank, I now stand still and let others draw what they will.

Through Amazon’s self-publishing platform, I was able to bring this book into the world on my own terms. No waiting. No gatekeepers. Just me, my voice, and the courage to press “publish.”

For Anyone Who Feels Invisible

If you’ve ever felt like your story didn’t matter…
 If you’ve ever been made to feel too old, too soft, too scarred, too strange to be seen…

 If you’ve ever longed to return to your body without fear or shame…

This book is for you. 

“We are not just models.
 We are not just muses.
 We are not just bodies drawn by others.
 We are stories waiting to be told.”

🌿 Where to Read More

📘 The Pose That Hurt: Becoming an Artist Through Life Modeling and Rebellion is available on Amazon here:
 👉 amazon.com/author/laurabernardeschinelson

💻 You can also explore my art and essays at
 👉 www.lauraartist68.uk

Thank you for witnessing my story.

Laura Bernardeschi Nelson is a life model, visual artist, and writer based in the UK. She writes about embodiment, ageing, solitude, and the power of stillness. Her work invites others to reclaim their own voice—one pose at a time.