What means polyamorous first of all ?
It is not gender-specific. Anyone can have multiple partners of any gender. Polyamorous relationships require consent, open-mindedness, immense trust, communication skills, clear boundaries, and mutual respect, without feelings of jealously, to work in the long run. Practically people meet other people with no restrictions cheating openly each other with ‘respect’.
Something very weird and different .
I could not imagine myself sharing a man with other women and than believing at his “ I love you …you are my princess ! “ Could you ?
I lived for three years with a very narcissist man and can see a great similarity with a polyamorous.
They convince themselves to love other people but it is a lie !
They can not love anyone else expect themselves and use the trust of people for their mental games and see where they can arrive to manipulate them .
How to recognise a cheater behind the charming polyamorous word .
It is not easy at the beginning because they know how to lie and are very good actors .
But with a few strategies you can discover their pathetic game :
- If you have an appointment with them and they disappear for hours behave .
- If they find an excuse like a sudden cold or their old mother felt suddenly sick start to open your eyes and watch behind your back .
- If they talk at the phone with someone when you are distracted and can hear words like : ‘ok dear ..i come to see you tomorrow ‘, open your mind and run away as soon as you can !
Why i explain this ? Because it happened to me three weeks ago .
I met this man through a dating website .
His profile sounded interesting and his blue eyes attracted my attention.
I like intelligent men and he was writing to be a sapiosexual , so perfect match for me !
After a couple of days spent in writing the same questions and answers , i asked him if we could meet for a coffee somewhere in Bristol and he immediately agreed for the appointment even if living about 40 minutes far from me.
But the day of the appointment , an hour earlier our meeting , he texted me saying his mum was not feeling well and he had to stay at home with her .
Because i am used to this sort of behaviour very common among cheaters i told him that it was fine but the idea of a date with me was over forever.
After 10 minutes from my unexpected answer the cheater told me he had found suddenly someone to stay with his mother and he could come to Bristol to have this coffee with me .
Obviously the romanticism behind this date was gone forever but i decided to see where the game was bringing me .
The conversation was fine at the end and we agreed to meet again and the following week i went to visit him in his town and met his cat and her mother living with him .
Honestly i found everything so strange at the second date !
I am Italian and we meet parents when there is something more than a date so i was asking myself why ?
I could feel something strange behind the mind of that man.
He was trying to manipulate me , probably winning my trust with his cat and mum using the Italian traditions ?
Because i lived for three years with a narcissist who was verbally and emotionally abusing me , i could notice something similar in that man so perfect and educated .
Be careful with men who use lots of attention on their words and try to appear always perfect !
By the way still curious to see where he wanted to arrive , i decided to play with no feeling of love or sympathy.
It was like an experiment for me to see how strong i was after all the process to come out from my previous relationship .
The following week he decided to come to Bristol but at the last minute he invented another excuse …this time he had a terrible sore throat for his long talk through zoom !
Really i could not stop laughing to see how he thought to be clever in telling his pathetic lies .
For another week i decided to answer sometimes to his uninteresting texts repeating always the same things about his daily life but never adding a note of romanticism or love.
Polyamorosus are convinced to share their love for many people .
In reality they can not love anyone .
Here an easy example :
a man has a wife but he meets regularly another woman telling the wife what is going on and without asking her if she is happy … the wife must accept the other woman or the story is finished ..a bit selfish ? the unmarried woman was called mistress at the time of Henry VIII …now she is called a polyamorosus partner !
The end of my experience with the cheater .
One day , one of the last ones , i spent an hour in chatting with him and i discovered his ex wife left him a few years ago and he had to cope with a long depression .
After that he decided to have lots of stories, all together, with different women possibly no English ( so easily to manipulate for their imperfect knowledge of the language and British culture ) probably to convince himself that he was able to love again.
He told me he was meeting sometimes other women but he had not sex with them ..just sleeping all naked with him in his bed ! really ??
I had to keep my belly no to laugh on his face !
Three years of emotional abuses learnt me how to defend myself against these predators !
Remember my words.
Be free …be single …meet all the people you wish …be open minded ..sleep every night with a different person !
Keep a good friendship with your lovers but do not tell them you can love them forever .
Love is not a superstition ! Love is not a joke ! Love is something deep that keeps your breath ! Love is like a butterfly in your belly ! Love is always thinking at one and only one person ! Love is walking on the moon for the joy in your heart !
But polyamorous are just sad and confused cheaters hidden behind that charming word .
Thanks for reading